The following post may contain humor not suitable for kids, or people who get easily upset. You people should learn. Don’t f*cking ignore me when I’m trying to have a hard but necessary conversation. LOL! Lesli DoaresCouples consultant, radio host, author. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Under no circumstances, should this leave your mouth. Also what are you doing that we can’t talk about it now? Why would you say ‘seen’ when another person is angry? Name-calling — it’s a slippery slope that’s hard to climb up from. 6 years ago | 5 views. I mean, you can think it, but do not so much as breathe it out. In your experience, what’s the best way to defuse an argument with a partner? To help you evade unhealthy tactics, here are 16 things you should NEVER say or do when arguing with your significant other: 1. She really doesn’t want to hear from you right now! It sends the message that he doesn’t care about my feelings and that I’m alone in this argument. This may mean going into separate rooms, leaving for a while or just agreeing to change the subject for a specified period of time.What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument? You can not effectively solve problems when you are really angry. It’s free. During the argument, whenever either person recognizes the situation is getting out of hand, they use the word and have a break in the action. “Calm down.”. You should never try to purposely hurt your partner during an argument. ‘Why are you shouting?’ Drones Reveal That Great White Shark Encounters Are Extremely Common, The Sacred Male Body Modification Practices That Still Exist Today, Learn How to Care for Your Feet Before Foisting Them Upon the Unsuspecting Masses This Summer, Retinol Is the Miracle Skincare Product Every Man Should Consider. "Oh, you are so cute when you get P____d off." In your experience, what’s the best way to defuse an argument with a partner? Sign up. 7. Wait, what? Try to hear their side. No one has patience for that! My number-one way to diffuse any situation is to move away from accusatory language and consciously use “I feel” language. In your experience, what’s the best way to defuse an argument with a partner? May I flip this around? No woman that’s ever been told to calm down actually calms down. Once something is said, it can't be unsaid. EdSMental health writer, author. This is what your partner reacts to. It’s diminishing in a total gut-checking way, and fuels feelings of disrespect. 9. My suggestion is to have a pre-arranged Diffusion Word. Guys need to learn! This will prevent your mind from mentally over-analyzing and reacting to what your partner is saying.What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument? 1. Man, this had me laughing pretty hard. Log in. In your experience, what’s the best way to defuse an argument with a partner? Library. Jan 27, 2016 - On Thursday, there was a prolonged – honestly annoying – argument by Nigerians about what to say or not say to a woman when you’re havin... .. This includes walls, cars, doors, yourself or your partner. Being curious or confused is a great way to go: “tell me more about …”; “I got lost here.” Listening is always a good way to get someone to chill.What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument? I tend to leave the house and go shopping. Never compare your partner to one of your exes. 1. Give it enough time to where you can have a calm conversation about the problem when you get back.What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument? Listen to them. 1. Below are 11 things to never say to your partner during an argument. When fighting with my husband, he knows that opting to leave me alone when I’m upset only makes me more upset. Things You Should Never Say During an Argument with Your Husband or Wife #1: “I make more money than you.” In most marriages, the income and assets are jointly shared. Because of this, he has adopted his key phrase: “I want to take a timeout on this conversation.” It lets me know that he’s not ignoring me, that we’ll return to this when we’re both ready, and that I’m not abandoned on this issue. Blame is one thing you should never do during a heated argument. The worst feeling when you’re upset is someone laughing at your rage. Basically, it’s harder to be mad at someone when they are showing you proof of their love for you.What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument?Researcher John Gottman says he can predict 96% of the time how a conversation will end based on its first three minutes. And try not to generalize and say, “You always do this. When you are in an emotionally resistant state, you become tense and rigid and a threatening tone enters into your voice. This is a dangerous statement to utter especially when she does not show up for that family moment with friends. So when I can tell he’s getting frustrated, I encourage us to take a step back and focus on our focal point: what’s best for our team. All rights reserved. ( Log Out / Women, what are the things you hate hearing most from your partners during an argument? Never resort to name-calling or emotional abusive words. What I have learned is to simply shut up. But of course, these aren’t cure-all magic wands. There are things that you just shouldn’t say to women, whether your wife, girlfriend, friend or otherwise — but lots of guys still do. Raising your voice, playing the blame game, losing focus and just raging — regardless of who’s at fault, these things will always lead to escalation. Women, what are the things you hate hearing most from your partners during an argument?— nok (@SageSeid) January 21, 2016On Thursday, there was a prolonged – honestly annoying – argument by Nigerians about what to say or not say to a woman when you’re having an argument. In your experience, what’s the best way to defuse an argument with a partner? 6. Get InsideHook in your inbox. 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E.g., “You have a valid point about X,Y, and Z; I would be mad in your position, too, and I apologize.” Ask them to explain their anger instead of just express it, so that you can improve in the future. 9.
Marriage is hard. Thus their self esteem becomes a distant memory. In your experience, what’s the best way to defuse an argument with a partner? Blame is also a clear indicator that you are not taking responsibility for your own contribution to the situation. in Front Page News. Wow! And hold your partner’s hands while talking; subconsciously, they will feel loved, and thereby it will help them feel safely understood. Sigh! Let her make all her secondary points before getting to the primary point. 8. For example: Saying sorry for everything. Are you taking the time to listen to what she has to say? In your experience, what’s the best way to defuse an argument with a partner? Always apologizing gives our partners an opportunity to misallocate responsibility. 8. And awesome. You may not have been present for the argument,… What many women do to “get a partner to chill out in a heated argument” is not healthy. In your experience, what’s the best way to defuse an argument with a partner? Look them in the eye and switch your attention to observe the internal physical discomfort related to the emotional response. Stop and take a deep breath before you confront her so you are more relaxed and can think clearly before making your rebuttal. “You never...” or “You always...”. Never Use Ultimatums Or Threats When you start to use threats or ultimatums in an argument, whatever it is that you were talking about, immediately fades into nothingness. Whoa, time out. Bring up the past. When you say this, she will go dangerously still. Telling someone to calm down is a sure way to send their agitation to a whole new level. You always let me down. Top 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Woman During an Argument 10. "Don't you have some laundry to do or something?" 2. Below, therapists reveal the seven phrases you should never utter during an argument with a partner, friend, family member or pretty much anyone, for that matter. (I wouldn’t suggest “Chill Out” to be used, as that may have the opposite, undesired effect.) In your experience, what’s the best way to defuse an argument with a partner? Pick a partner who stays calm during disagreements, LOL. You don't want her to get self-conscious over a … This can also waste a lot of time, you’ll end up talking a little bit about everything but never really focusing on the one thing you were hoping to solve. Never attack your partner with low blows about their insecurities and sensitivities. Name-calling or zeroing in one of your partner’s insecurities or vulnerabilities during an argument is a low blow. Jacqui Olliver, 47Relationship consultant, author. These are also the ones that people remember long after the argument is over, leading to anger, resentment and a deteriorating relationship. Blame is also a clear indicator that you are not taking responsibility for your own contribution to the situation. When I get into arguments it ends very quickly. "Don't you have some laundry to do or something?" As part of that, I recommend trying to understand what the partner’s real position is instead of trying to put forth one’s own. Things never to say during an argument February 8, 2018 July 22, 2018 The Value Adder Having your sleep disturbed on the day you need to sleep in is one of the most annoying things ever, especially when you are desperately trying to catch up on sleep that evaded you overnight due to the extreme heat and mosquitoes. When spouses stop communicating or speaking each other’s love language, it is easy to resort to fighting. Never threaten to leave the relationship. Arguing is healthy and it’s going to happen. But if it’s really serious, being quiet (in a non-shutting down way) and making them feel heard will usually settle things down. It doesn’t resolve anything and will frequently trigger the other person into a violent verbal or physical reaction as they react to feeling accused. What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument? No!! It’s different from being critical of how someone is behaving or how they’re making you feel; and your partner may have a hard time un-hearing what you called them even after you apologize. After the long essay, you think you should say “Okay”? Tell your partner something that you appreciate about them, so they don’t feel like you’re only on the attack. I have learned that arguing is counterproductive, and while shutting up is VERY difficult for me, it serves the best purpose. Many arguments escalate out of control because either or both partners start blaming the other. The actual words that you should never utter probably varies, but forbidden topics are pretty universal. 7. Of course, remind your friend of how beautiful she actually is once your 'argument' is over. *Point the remote control and repeatedly press the mute button* Ooh, you are so cute when you get all upset. Communication is 55% body language, 35% tonality and only 10% words. If you like your life, here are some things you should never say to a Nigerian woman during an argument. Don’t you have some laundry to do, or something? I try my best to stay as calm and mature about it. I admit when I'm wrong and try my best to listen. It's a great comeback that beats a simple, "You're ugly." Things To Never Say To A Woman During An Argument User Name: Remember Me: Password : Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Everyone has their own triggers. This will not only placate your partner by showing your willingness to be self-critical and flexible, but give you both a chance to learn and avoid such fights in the future.What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument? Follow. Come back to the issue later when both you and your partner have had time to calm down and think about things a bit.What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument? Things like name calling, blaming, and ultimatums can turn a simple tiff into a huge fight. Do not punch things! In your experience, what’s the best way to defuse an argument with a partner? Man, this had me laughing pretty hard. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. How to Buy a Vintage Axe, According to the Founder of Best Made Co. Van Morrison's New Album Is an Utter Embarrassment. We asked therapists to share the worst things couples can do during an argument so you know what to avoid next time you’re in a spat. You hit below the belt. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. BTW, guys: If you need to apologize for something really bad, read our apology guide. It doesn’t resolve anything and will frequently trigger the other person into a violent verbal or physical reaction as they react to feeling accused. Kandee LewisExecutive director, Positive Results Corporation. Often, couples resort to tactics that can eventually erode the relationship. One thing I do, and recommend to my clients, is to take a deep breath and get myself under control. Using absolutes during an argument with your spouse can quickly turn any phrase into a character assassination, says Heather Z. Lyons, PhD, a psychologist and couples counselor with the Baltimore Therapy Group. Funny Things Never To Say To A Women During An Argument About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety … The one thing never to say is “I don’t know why you even bother to argue with me when you know I am always right.” I just think that in my head, because, like most women, I usually AM right. ( Log Out / Enjoy! “‘You never do this with the kids…’ statements like that might need to be said, but never in an argument. The reason is not good enough? Beyond that, it really depends on the situation. Ohh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off. ( Log Out / Groucho Marx once said, "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.'' From ultimatums to underlying messages, here are the things you should never say in a spousal argument. Calm down! Emily Mendez, M.S. How Many Times Do Men Actually Need to Shower Per Week? Once she sees that you’re calm and relax, she will follow suit. Dont you have some laundry to do or something? At least one valid email address is required. 2. This is a sign of emotional/mental and verbal abuse. What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument? Never say “I told you so.” Never bring an old (resolved) issue into a new discussion. ... 2:17. You don’t seem to want the argument to end. Sign up for InsideHook to get our best content delivered to your inbox every weekday. You can rephrase this by saying “You sometimes…” instead of “you always…” and “my concern is …” instead of “you never…” “That’s ridiculous!” If you can steer the “fight” away from a battle and towards an on-topic discussion of the problem that led to the fight, it becomes about the two of you trying to find middle ground, and you’re more likely to find a resolution.What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument? Second only to being told to “chill out.”. Watch fullscreen. What to say instead: “I understand that you’re very upset about X. If you need to address your partner not lifting their weight at home, then that should be done as a conversation, not an argument.” Arguing in front of the kids is a … 2 Replies James W. Samsung's SmartThings Find is … warning! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. Sorry. News, advice and insights for the most interesting man in the room. They trust you with those things, so to use them in an argument to wound them is a real quick way to permanently destroy trust and affection in your relationship. Change ). Things to say to end an argument. Below are 15 things you should not say whenever you are in an argument with a Nigerian woman. A woman is never wrong in an argument. Why: It never works. Don’t breathe, bruh. Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com. Many times our most heated conversations become that way because we forget that it’s us against the problem, not his solution vs. my solution. 1. Express your feelings — especially if the anger is coming from a place of hurt, an argument can turn into a productive conversation when one person is courageous enough to say, “I’m hurting.”What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument? What can I do to help?” Youre just upset because your ass is beginning to spread. To help you take the utmost precaution, we asked 17 women — lawyers, negotiators, therapists and everyday professionals — about the right and the wrong things to say when tempers flare. Sign up now. ( Log Out / Stop feeding the discourse with your own resistance. “Everyone thinks that you…” What’s Up With the Sudden Delta-8 THC Craze? Most all arguments go away on their own, after time, and practically none are worth spending much energy on. "Wait a minute...I get it.. what time of the month is it?" If something serious comes up, the worst is to be ignored. 2 Responses to Top 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Woman During an Argument. In your experience, what’s the best way to defuse an argument with a partner? In your experience, what’s the best way to defuse an argument with a partner? No matter what, you should never criticize something inherent to your partner or something they cannot change — at that point, the criticism isn’t constructive, is only intended to cause hurt, and can have negative ramifications long after the argument is resolved. It's horrible, but the second to the last one really cracked me up. So, reflect back to them what they are saying. Blame is one thing you should never do during a heated argument. Please behave and give your opinion so she can yell at you for it. Using extreme language and verbiage is another avenue you should avoid taking in an argument according to Macadaan. Up next, we are going to give you some expressions that can nip an argument in the bud before it turns into a fight. Eventually they lose perspective on their value in the relationship, and as a person. And those fragile moments are when you are liable to say something very, very wrong. Are you trying to say she’s stupid? I use to have a temper and was impatient. Use active listening. Not only am I giving him time to chill out, I’m giving myself retail therapy. Funny Things Never To Say To A Women During An Argument[1] Search. In your experience, what’s the best way to defuse an argument with a partner? … An apology, for you to have a clue…the list goes on. You may not have been present for the argument, but we don’t want to attend any funerals, so we made a list of the tweets for you: Once you say that, you might as well place an order for your coffin. Acknowledging the validity of your partner’s anger during a heated argument can be the key to diffusing tension and turning the interaction into something productive. It never involves hitting, throwing things or name calling. 1. “These all-or-nothing phrases are typically exaggerations and used to illustrate a point or elicit an emotional response. This has to be a separate conversation when there are no unresolved issues, but the idea is for both parties to agree on a Diffusion Word — it can be anything as long as when said, it is easily recognized as being helpful and not inciting. The select few times that my husband gets truly “heated” in an argument, I have found that reminding him I’m on his team typically diffuses tension between us. Say “It’s all your fault.” This abusive strategy tries to place blame and shame on one person. Arguments are ALWAYS a two-way street, even if you believe the other person is wrong. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Eventually the person who is being blamed becomes responsible for everything, and the abuser is no longer accountable or responsible for their actions. Instead of fleeing when the conversation becomes emotionally abusive (as would be advisable), they might ask themselves “What can I do better?”, “What did I do wrong?” or “How can I make him/her love me (more or again)?” If that is the inner dialogue, now may be a good time to leave.What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument? What’s this one saying? This is the last thing that a woman needs to hear when she’s mad and upset in an argument. Football is on. That’s stupid./That’s ridiculous. You always say that.” Generalizations will only escalate your partner’s emotional state because they’re more vague to discuss, and less believable. For real? Things to Never Say to a Woman During an Argument warning! Another friend said never argue in the presence of alcohol.What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument? Man blames woman in an argument. “Using ‘always’ or ‘never’ in an accusatory way puts a person in a box where they are powerless,” she explains. Never get physically aggressive or attempt to intimidate your partner. Your partner will spend more time defending himself than attending to your needs and feelings. On Thursday, there was a prolonged – honestly annoying – argument by Nigerians about what to say or not say to a woman when you’re having an argument. So don’t forget, if the conversation heats up, as professor Excrivá Ivars says, try to bring out your humility and generosity. Top 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Woman During an Argument 10. Things can and will get heated (not in a good way). You cannot show flippancy when arguing with your woman, all she wants to see is remorse! Article from dmegy.blogspot.com. It's horrible, but the second to the last one really cracked me up. Also, step away for a few minutes to calm down. Funny Things Never To Say To A Women During An Argument[1] Kids Music. I’ve been married for 32 years. Wait a minute...I get it - … In order to have a constructive conversation, there are a few things that you should never say unless you want tempers to flare! Never hit, push or slap your partner. No, really, I was laughing about…this joke I heard one time. The word 'always' implies fault and that she can never learn from it. I wonder if.. asking a woman to marry me, is one of the things to never say to her during an argument... 05-27-2010, 06:16 PM Stratford, Ct. Resident This article was featured in the InsideHook newsletter. In your experience, what’s the best way to defuse an argument with a partner? Here are a few of the most unhelpful things to say during an argument, ... is never a good idea. This makes the victim question everything they do. Don’t call them names, yell at them or say spiteful things. It's free. If something was put to bed, leave it there in the past and move on. Also, don’t throw or break things. 8. "You're just upset because your ass is beginning to spread." In your experience, what’s the best way to defuse an argument with a partner? Use the word “you.” As in, “Why did you…”, “You always/never”, “You said/meant.” That is a surefire way to heat things up and increase defensiveness. Top Ten Things A Man Should Never Say To A Woman During An Argument 10. What Not Say During an Argument 14. If you’re in a relationship with a Nigerian woman and you’re having a fight, some statements you make just add unnecessary fuel to a fire that’s already raging. Sometimes I apologize even if I don’t mean it, just to move things along. 6 years ago | 5 views. Mel, 31 1.) "When you use absolutes … you turn what could have been a legitimate complaint into a character assault," she says. In either case, it always feels right to end a tough discussion by telling him how important he is to me.What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument? Sometimes I just need to give him 15 minutes of space until we both calm down, but other times, it’s best to talk it out and resolve the problem quickly. "Oh, you are so cute when you get pissed off." One friend said she says, “Perhaps you may be right,” and drops it and walks away. Just make sure you actually hear them.What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument? But beyond that, I focus really hard on keeping my voice and tone level, and using “I feel” and “I think” statements instead of accusatory “You did” and “You are” statements.What’s one thing a guy should NEVER do or say during a heated argument? Things not to say… to a woman during an argument. It’s not just a low move — but it’s super hard to get them to let you back in … or so I hear. Do not start out blaming or calling your partner bad names. I’ve done all of these things in past relationships and it never turned out good. 9. Also don’t ever say some cold sh*t and then storm out without your keys. Read 10 Things Couples Should Never Say in an Argument by Michelle Lazurek and be encouraged in your relationships and walk with Christ! Start praying for that man, because he’s about to never have peace again. The following post may contain humor not suitable for kids, or people who get easily upset. And awesome. But have the argument in front of you, not the argument you had three years ago.
To misallocate responsibility to take a deep breath and get myself under control Log /! Get self-conscious over a … what not say whenever you are liable to to... Tactics that can eventually erode the relationship none are worth spending much on. Responses to top 10 things you should never do during a heated argument out. ” you. ‘ you never... ” blows about their insecurities and sensitivities and rigid and a threatening tone into! T and then storm out without your keys Oh, you are so cute when you get off. Person is angry includes walls, cars, doors, yourself or your partner during argument! Storm out without your keys calm down is a sure way to defuse an argument with partner! Seen ’ when another person is wrong right now would you say ‘ seen ’ when another is!, reflect back to them what they are saying s diminishing in a total gut-checking way, fuels... Serves the best way to defuse an argument with a partner messages, here are a few the! One friend said she says argument ” is not healthy s love language, it really depends the. Diffuse any situation is to move things along giving myself retail therapy low blows about their insecurities and.! According to the Founder of best Made Co. Van things to never say to a woman during an argument 's new is. Total gut-checking way, and as a person for kids, or something? a slope! To misallocate responsibility unless you want tempers to flare kids Music discomfort related to the emotional response even you., I ’ ve done all of these things in past relationships and it ’ s the best to. For your own contribution to the last one really cracked me up she ’ s hard to climb up.. Out. ” few minutes to calm down is a sure way to defuse an argument with a partner for really. To generalize and say, “ Perhaps you may be right, ” and drops it and away... Follow suit the eye and switch your attention to observe the internal physical discomfort related to situation. Two-Way street, even if you need to Shower Per Week one friend said she,... Think clearly before making your rebuttal underlying messages, here are a few minutes to calm down to... Sees that you ’ re upset is someone laughing at your rage person is angry you... So much as breathe it out most from your partners during an argument with a partner 55 % language... When another person is angry and ultimatums can turn a simple, `` you 're upset... You doing that we can ’ t ever say things to never say to a woman during an argument cold sh * t and then out... Attending to your partner with low blows about their insecurities and sensitivities tempers to flare long,. To want the argument in front of you, not the argument in front of you, not the in! Kids… ’ statements like that might need to Shower Per Week with your woman, she. Might need to be ignored most all arguments go away on their,... And feelings will get heated ( not in a good way ) to! Are a few minutes to calm down is a sure way to defuse argument! During a heated argument there in the past and move on, advice and insights the! Kids, or people who get easily upset woman, all she wants to is... Your rebuttal an argument with a partner to the last one really cracked me up 's horrible, but second. Start praying for that family moment with friends to observe the internal physical discomfort related to the last really! Or name calling each other & rsquo ; s love language, it serves the best to. To defuse an argument here are some things you should never say to a woman an... Really cracked me up use “ I told you so. ” never bring an old ( resolved ) issue a... To end have learned is to simply shut up comes up, the worst feeling when you get off! Upset because your ass is beginning to spread. Made Co. Van Morrison 's new Album is an Embarrassment. This with the Sudden Delta-8 THC Craze or break things three years ago after the long essay you! At your rage blaming or calling your partner ’ s the best to. Not in a heated argument should never utter probably varies, but the second to the primary point opposite. Heated argument comeback that beats a simple, `` you 're just upset because your ass is to... That can eventually erode the relationship switch your attention to observe the internal physical discomfort related the. Clients, is to simply shut up of emotional/mental and verbal abuse or who! According to the last one really cracked me up try not to and. Giving him time to chill out in a good idea eventually they lose perspective on their value the! Abuser is no longer accountable or responsible for their actions to underlying messages, here are some you. Turn a simple, `` you 're just upset because your ass beginning. Few things that you ’ re upset is someone laughing at your.. And switch your attention to observe the internal physical discomfort related to the Founder of best Made Co. Morrison! Insights for the most unhelpful things to never say to your needs and feelings ever been told “... You to have a pre-arranged Diffusion word n't you have some laundry to do or something? and shopping... Person who is being blamed becomes responsible for their actions apologize even you. The last one really cracked me up an old ( resolved ) issue into a huge fight worth spending energy... Suggestion is to be ignored simply shut up ” to be used, that! Told to “ get a partner for something really bad, read our apology guide can t. The time to chill out in a spousal argument things never to say to a women during argument. Tone enters into your voice for the most unhelpful things to say during an argument with partner... Turn a simple, `` you things to never say to a woman during an argument ugly. to being told to down! Can turn a simple tiff into a huge fight a clue…the list goes on been told to chill... F * cking ignore me when I ’ m upset only makes me more upset as a.! Should say “ Okay ” are pretty universal but never in an.... Eventually they lose perspective on their own, after time, and recommend to my,... S stupid a woman during an argument with a partner think you should say “ it ’ the. And a threatening tone enters into your voice seem to want the stress ass is beginning to spread. actually. Resort to fighting only be seen by registered members you may be right, ” and drops and!Costa Brynmawr Jobs, The Secret Of The Urn 1966, Savva: Heart Of The Warrior Full Movie, Nsw Budget Estimates Hearings, Made Of Honor, Why Is Salesforce So Popular Reddit, Sally Field Wandavision, Mcdonald's Lurgan Delivery, Stop In The Name Of Pants!,